Memorial Day Convergence

Saturday 5-29-2021

Cornwallis Nightmare

7:00 – 8:00 am

67 degrees. Misty and soggy after a hard night’s rain.

There had been really no large gatherings in Natville for over a year. Most of that past year had been with groups smaller than 25. Many PAX wore masks during workouts. Some had temporarily dropped out of all activities. Yet as things started to look a little brighter on the COVID front in Greensboro, numbers have picked up. Pretty soon, it began to appear as if we could pull of a big event. Memorial Day was right around the corner. And so the great minds of F3 Natville decided to make today the day for our next convergence. All 5 Saturday AOs would convene in one place– Jaycee Park, the home of Cornwallis  Nightmare. At the same time and place as the usual workout, an F3 favorite — Blackbeard’s Challenge would be held. The stage was set! All participants would be able to get together at 8:00 on the soggy field behind Lewis Center.

YHC showed up around 6:30 to set up the field for a 5-station mass beatdown. Sacked, Hazmat, Houlihan, and a few others were already on hand to help put out coffee in the covered patio overlooking the field. Things were looking good! Kaizan helped procure a few sticks from the woods to hold up the boards in the outfield as the PAX began to file in from all directions, some with shovelflags, kids, strollers, FNGs. It was a motley festive atmosphere right up until start time! Seconds before 7:00, with guys still making their way down to the field, Flo Jo belted out greetings from er-top the basketball slab. His voice boomed reminiscent of the street gang Godfather Cyrus in the movie ‘The Warriors’. He welcomed all attendees with an iteration of the three Fs, the motto, and the disclaimer before leading everyone on a mosey out to the large parking lot behind Pisgah Church. Mumble chatter was at the perfect level and spirits were high as many saw each other for the first time in a long time, and in the later light of morning!

Arriving at the parking lot, Flo Jo quickly poured on the work with a set of side staddle hops, followed by copperhead merkins, more merkins, Sun gods, Abe Vagodas and a runner’s stretch. The PAX was well-worked already and the beatdown had only just begun. We all moseyed back to the field and formed a huge circle and counted off in sets of 5. YHC had the groups head off to their starting stations. Group 1 would set the pace as they are the only ones with a count, the others would just AMRAP a single exercise until relieved. The station were: at home plate (1) with MERKINS 25/ WWI situps 20 / HAND RELEASE MERKINS 20/ BURPEES 10 / INCH WORMS 10

Station 2 on the 3rd base foul line with LBCs/CAROLINA DRY DOCKS/GOOFBALLS/MONKEY HUMPERS/ALTERNATING SHOULDER TAPS

Station 3 was at the warning track against the fence with PEOPLE’S CHAIR/BALLS TO THE FENCE/SITTING AIR PRESSES/DYING FENCE ROACHES/FENCE SIT (Alternating legs)

Station 4 was behind 2nd base between sets of cones with BROAD JUMPS/BEARCRAWL/LUNGES/CRAB WALK/BUTT KICKERS

Station 5 was on the 1st base foul line with SQUATS/ALABAMA PROM DATES/PETER PARKERS/WOJO SQUATS/TOY SOLDIERS

There was plenty of mumble chatter to be heard throughout, but particularly when teams were lollygagging at homeplate, as well as a little razzing on the switchups when some team members wanna to complete the sets even after other teams seemed to ‘abandon post’ early. It was all good. The PAX got a good sweat and dirt combo from the damp grass and gravely infield. All had a good time pushing themselves and getting pushed. And I believe many were sad to here YHC call “Omaha” at 7:50. They reluctantly circle up in centerfield for a mary led by Hazmat himself.

Hazzie rallied the troops with a nice set of ab-exercizes:

Freddie Mercury x 20 IC

Box Cutters x 20 IC

Low Slow Flutters x 20 IC

American Hammers x 20 IC

At the end, the PAX counted off, but participants from Backbeard’s Challenge wanted in. They came pouring down from the hills, at different paces and with varying expressions on pain and pleasure. The numbers were growing and we had to recount. The final tally: an even 100 STRONG!

Here’s who was there:

City Slicker, Viagra, Big Worm, Boy Wonder, Coach K, 3 for 1, Pop Tart, Windmill, Square, Married Up (FNG), Snow White, Expired, Settlement, Aleve, Scratch N Win, Guiding Light (Co-Q), Bobby Knight, Houlihan, Sugar Cake, Flamingo, Schnitzel, Mugsy, Egg Plant, Eight Mile, Flo Jo (Co-Q), Mud Flap, Spurrier, Xerox, TJ Hooker, Ozone, HBO, Desk Pop, Heisenberg, Polo, Lynda, Nancy, Saban, Scratch, Norwood, Snooki, Tesla, Chewy, Root, John Coctostan, Drizzle, Sacked, Stick Shift, Marvel, Centerfold, Damage Control, Kaizan, Major Pain, Limp Biscuit, Steely Dan, Cecil, Head Hunter (FNG), Crayola, Gator Bait (FNG), Verlander, Newhart, Sir Purr, Box Spring, JWoww, Poehler, Double Pump, Stretch, Stomp Rocket, Red Card, Michelin Man, Back Draft, Wicked, Yeti, Earhardt, Akron, STP, Don’t cha Know, Bed Bug, Wojo, Phoenix, Matlock, Toto, Jitter Bug, Caddy, Robinhood, Loveseat, Jiggawatt, Tent City, Red Ryder (FNG), Opie, Jingles, TPS, Red Dragon, Foot Fairy, Tommy Boy, JR, Space X, Black Swan, Hoosier, Airball, Hazmat (Co-Q)

Before leaving the friendly confines of Lewis Center field for some brewed coffee, water, and PBR, we have 3 items of business left:

The naming of the FNGS, the Nantan changing of the guard, and the obligatory massive group pic courtesy of Centerfold and his professional photography setup.

  1. So the PAX brought it in tight and the 4 FNGs approached the center, slowly and with no shortage of nerves. When the naming frenzy was over, all four had emerged with quality names, a bit of good ribbing, handshakes, fistbumps, and a round of applause!
  2. Nantan-elect Sacked got everyone’s attention with a word of appreciation for all that Tommy Boy had done over the last several years. Going through rapid growth, racial issues to be addressed, and the challenges a pandemic presented to our organization, TB was given a round of applause and presented with the official AO flag for Natville. Tommy Boy had entered the center of the ring with a pair of short shorts and had since become known as F3 Ranger Panties, and has its own Twitter handle! Whether those legs should have been shown off in the manner with continue to be a matter of heated debate, but it is supposed that he thought he could get away with just about any offense on his last day as Nantan. He had in hand his own gift for the incoming Sacked: a veritable playbook full of Nantaning advice he had gleaned over those years. Sacked opened it to find the contents were a single page which read “Be the Leader that only you can be.” Best advice!
  3. Last but not least, we all crowded around homeplate to take the convergence pic. Shovelflags at the flanks and dotted throughout the group. Centerfold had taller guys in the back all the way down to the ‘vertically challenged’ (his words) in the front. It turned out to be a glorious picture, reflecting the diversity of F3Greensboro and the joy of the day!

Thank you all who conceptualized (Snowflake), planned, came out, and give it their all! On behalf of Flo Jo, Hazmat, YHC would like to express the honor it was to lead and be a part of this fulfilling day!

Aye!

GL