Rainbow Dash – The 9 hour dash




  • Q – Stryker
  • Birdsnest
  • Ketchup
  • Brisket
  • Flat Rate
  • Rabbit
  • Section 8
  • FNG – Witness Protection


Is it possible to successfully lead the Rainbow Dash with 9 hours notice? Site Q sends out the call on Friday night. Knowing the high standards of the dash crew, could I be ready in time. I was gonna find out. 

I arrived at 6:55am to see we were missing a few regulars (defectors?) but it was an excited bunch with some solid dash experience, and an FNG that was ready for anything.

The great thing about the dash is the mumble chatter, and the near limitless sites and options to test the mind, the body, and the soul. But today, we were missing the lead mumble chatter instigator, so I planned to see all the sites to account for the extra breath we’d be saving from the normal laughter, recaps of the previous night, and generally questionable life advice.

We started with a half mile mosey tour-of-homes to work our way through the baseball fields to the bleachers. A warm-a-rama with some broga prepared the body, now to test the mind and soul. 

First test, Pullups and Burpees. Do as many pullups behind the bleachers that you can up to 10. Any less than 10, do burpees to get to 10. Then a snake jog up and down the bleachers. Then Rinse and Repeat, 5 rounds total. 

Second Test, to the track

  • 20 jump squats, then high knees and butt kickers across the field, jog around the track to the start.
  • 30 merkins, then duck walk, and walk duck across the field, jog around the track to the start.
  • 40 WWII situps, then, bear crawl and crawl bear across the field, jog around the track to the start
  • 50 squats, then skip across the field.

Third test, to the low wall

  • Everyone had the chance to challenge the pax at the low wall. Each chose their favorite exercise. We did sterkins, dips, leg up single leg squats, Catalina wine mixers, Mike Tysons, Derkins, jump ups, and jump overs. 

Time check showed we were cutting into Mary so mosey back to the flag to close out the test. Again, all had a chance to call their favorite; lbc, dying cockroach, plank, and more until we finished with American Hammers. 

In our last minute, we learned that our FNG had moved 12 times around the country in about as many years. He came (back) to Greensboro just a few months ago. He had reasons for the moves, like business and career, etc, etc….but we suspected he was on the run, so welcomed Witness Protection to F3. And we hope is able to stay with us for a while.

Birdnest took us out during the COT in the pre-covid ball-of-man style; all men in tight, with hands raised together in unity. Thank you CDC and Governor Cooper for lifting the mask restriction.

So in the end, it seems its less about the tests and more about the lesson. I learned that you can successfully lead the dash with 9 hours of notice, at least when you have 7 amazing men there to have your back. And it was a pleasure to lead.