DISCLAIMER #1 – If you find the phrase “ball sack” offensive, you are highly encouraged to stop reading now.

DISCLAIMER #2 – Due to a poor recording, YHC missed several PAX names and will gladly pay for it at a later #beatdown

It was NUTS. 25ish PAX escaped the weekend #fartsack and gathered in the gloom for a VQ experience that left nothing/everything to be desired. Wicked taught us a thing or two about the very dangerous phenomenon known as “Twerking”. Luckily, we moseyed promptly over to Safety Town for the…


Contra Burpees (add a Merkin each time) x 7

SSH x 25

Monkey Humpers x 25 (#MumbleChatter about the view)

Sun Gods x 15

Unwind x 15

Moroccan Night Club x 15

Copperhead Hillbilly (AKA Steve Earle) a CH squat that ends in a Hillbilly leg lift x 25

Mosey off to the center of the center of the Jaycee parking lot just in time for Poehler to introduce:

The Thang

PAX counted off into groups of six. Poehler wasted no time pulling out his Balls o’ Fun for the PAX to see. He had 36 of them. Each group got a ball sack with six ping pong balls labeled 1-6 that corresponded to a station spanning from the parking lot to the Lewis Rec Center. Bad news for those at station #1 should they draw #6… it happened. PAX reached into their respective ball sacks, drew a  number and headed off into the gloom for a beatdown that went a little something like this:

Station #1 @ Lewis Rec Center

Merkins x 20

Copperhead Squats x 30

Dips x 40

Station #2 @ Shovel Flag (with cinder blocks #BecauseWhyNot)

Jack Webbs x 20

Lawn Mowers x 30

Extensions x 20

Station #3 @ Blue Bus

Shoulder Taps x 20

Carolina Dry Docks x 30

LBCs x 40

Station #4 @ mid-Parking Lot

Side Tri Rise x 20 each arm (P90X)

Turkish Get-ups x 30

Bobby Hurleys x 40 (Crowd Pleaser)

Station #5 @ end of Parking Lot

Booyah (partner hi-5) Merkins x 20

Low Slow Flutter x 30 in cadence

Plank Jacks x 40 in cadence

Station # 6 @ Gate to Country Park

Burpees x 20

Dying Cockroach x 30

Squat Jacks x 40

If your group was *Lucky* enough to complete the circuit, you moved on to the…

BONUS ROUND @ Tennis Deck

Wheelbarrows, Prisoner Get-ups & Merkins (oh, my!)

*Partner Up*

Partner A – assume wheelbarrow position

Partner B – Drive the wheelbarrow

“Wheel” from one side of the deck to the other

While staying in Wheelbarrow mode, Partner A does 1 slow Merkin while B does 1 Prisoner Get-up

(still holding partner’s ankles)

Cross back over to the other side and perform 2 Merkins while B performs 2 Get-ups.

Ladder up to 5 of each then flipflop & repeat!

Time called to wrap up with our ol’ friend Mary…


PAX was welcomed back to the #ShovelFlag by The Galactic Empire to learn that Mary brought her roommate, Sally for an little cool down.

Bring Sally Up/Down – assume Merkin position, press “play” on the Moby track, “Flower”. Each time you hear “up”, you rise to the top of a Merkin. Each time you hear, “down”, you drop to 6 inches.

YHC called change up to Squat position (you know, just in case folks were bored… yeah, that’s it).


YHC called Omaha for time (yeah, that’s it… I called it for time) and ended with

AMERICAN HAMMERS w/ a 20b #shakeweight

Ring-of-Fire style, we passed the weight around the PAX. I lost count at 47 Hammers in cadence.


There’s a rumor it is (or is near) Wicked’s B-day… Yeti offered up a #TunnelOfLove but no one took him up on it.

Poehler thanked the PAX for their adherence to the ROE re: Spitting during a #beatdown. We coined the term “Sperkins”

Butt Fumble- appreciates (and is continuing to seek guys for March) for the mission at Grace Community Church. He is also collecting $$$ for the fella that maintains the AO at Jaycee Park. The goal is $100 gift card to Lowe’s from F3. $17 to go so reach into that wallet.

JLove- Third F at Hushpuppy’s house on Sunday Nights. Bed Bug starting a Walk Through the Bible study; meets every two weeks… keep an eye out for the Sunday email. After Annie’s heart attack, we’re going to be proactive; this Tuesday, meet at Q’doba for lunch to learn about first steps for F3 AED & CPR training

Snooki- be cautious when we’re working out in the winter gloom; it’s dark and slippery and as Snooki said; anything can happen and usually does. #SnookisLaw?! #MurphysLawAintEnough #UseYourHead

Yeti- Breakfast Burrito outreach on Feb 19th & 20 filled up successfully. 2/19 to make burritos, 2/20 we serve those in need @ Center City Park. HERE are all the details as well as in the Sunday emails. You’re welcome to come and help if you want to help out, just connect with Yeti so he can guide you.

Hoolihan- lost a 30 year old co-worker to cancer this week. Add Hollie and her family to your prayer list. She inspired YHC to take us out and used her fight to remind us to stay even stronger in ours; never forgetting we have the PAX to give us strength when we ask.

#Tclaps to Long Time & Sacked for EHing Poehler and I to lead. Serving as your Q is a humbling and infinitesimally rewarding experience, brothers. Here’s to a quick heal for Sacked… Aye!

PAX: Butt Fumble, Snooki, Man Eater, FNG – Aweis (Monk) Buzz, Copyright, FNG – Scott Martin (Picabo/Peekaboo), Freon, Sugar Cake, Flapjack, Heisenberg, T-Rex, Wilson, Flash, Wicked, Stage Fright, I-Beam, Yeti, Hoolihan, Reboot, Viagra

QIC: Poehler & Tommy Boy